Ready...Set...Go!

Tomorrow is the big day! I am so excited...don't know how I will sleep tonight. 

Getting a little nervous, but I think the excitement of finally having a tool to help me get this weight off is going to take over the nerves.  I am ready for the surgery, the recovery, and the new life to begin. It has not been the easiest past 2 weeks, I will admit. I have been a little grouchy at times and the best thing about that is that I recognized what was going on and just removed myself from the situation and found something else to do.

"Hunger" or me thinking I was hungry was a lot of it. What a change from last week to this week in my brain and in my emotions. Crazy to realize how much I allow food to be the fix for so many things ...much, much better to just work through whatever was going on or to just move on to something else. 

I love to cook and I still did....I canned this week, made great meals for my family, stuck to my pre-op plan and I made it through....I didn't even taste what I was cooking...amazing...don't know how many times I started to....but I didn't. Last week was a different story....was feeling guilty about "cheating", then decided it was time to get over that too!  It was great for me to know that I can do this and make it all work for the whole family. 

I did draw the line at popcorn...a favorite snack of mine...made a new rule..."if you pop it, you eat it in the other room" 

It truly has been a great week...can't wait till tomorrow!

First Doctor's Visit and the days following...

OK...Wednesday arrived and I am so excited to be going to doc today for my first visit. Hoping to get all the preliminary stuff out of the way.  I have a dear friend going with me, hubby is working out of town, just before friend arrives, I get a call that my Grandma has died and I need to get from Texas to Virginia asap. Well, I decided to keep appointment and get all of that out of the way and then go to Virginia. Get to Doc's office and I am a little emotional, explain what happened and they went out of their way to accommodate me and do ALL of my appointments in one afternoon...I saw the psychologist, the nutritionist, the surgeon, and the pre op consultation.  Woohoooo....I am scheduled for surgery on Thursday, June 21st....let the liquids begin!!

Wednesday completely changed my life! 

No more sodas....not a problem!

Protein drinks....actually like them!

I am seriously missing crunchy and salty at the moment....but I am determined to get through these cravings!

I was fearful that with my family and having a funeral I would be so tempted to eat but I was able to stick to it. My husband has been very supportive and really  good to eat things I don't like when he has been around me, which has made it easier for me.

We are back home now and I am alone today, so some of these temptations will be harder to work through...grabbing my water bottle and going to run some errands!

I do have to have a cardiac clearance from my cardiologist before surgery...so I will be busy the rest of this week with Doc appt and lab work scheduled. 

I am surprised at how fast my days are going....YAY!

Finalizing the First Appointment

I am so new to this and putting my life in public...so to speak. When you are in a fat body, you tend to keep things to yourself and not share things. So this is like an unveiling and getting down to the nitty gritty of my life. I am so thankful I have support and as we journey through this together, maybe, just maybe this will help someone else thinking about making changes in their lives. 

I called the doc this morning and made my initial consultation appointment for lap band surgery. I am so excited and also scared silly about this. Everything is going to change, I mean everything.  I read on another blog, that if hunger isn't the problem, then eating isn't the solution. How true is that???

I realize how much eating for me is just a crutch, I am not hungry that much...I am worried that much. Why do  I worry and fret and fret and worry. My life is wonderful! I have been married for 31 years and sure it has been hard at times and it has been horrible at times, but it has been great and is getting better every day. We don't have major problems, just little bumps in the road. I have 3 beautiful daughters, all grown and doing well. I am such a proud mama! I have a 3 year old grandson that is the joy of my heart. My family loves me regardless of my size, but I don't really love me at this size. I am ready for this help, for this procedure to give me the tools to help me become a better woman. 

Let the transformation begin....in all aspects of my life. I have a strong faith and since I made the decision to have this surgery, this verse has helped me so much:

"But we all, with unveiled face beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit." 2 Corinthians 3:18

To me, this means taking of the mask, to stop hiding behind the fat, to become real and honest and be transformed into a new me, a new day, a new life, just as the Lord intended me to be.